Madonna and the invisible woman.

Recently, people have been saying that Madonna looks like an alien. I mean, I don’t know. I sort of think she looks more like a ghost from “Wuthering Heights,” but what do I know?

Madonna has clearly had a shitload of plastic surgery. People on the internet lament that she can’t just age because her skin is smooth as a plastic baby’s ass. .

But, fuck them! Who are they to tell her how to age, amirite? Madonna MAY look like an alien or a ghost, but you know what? She doesn’t look old!

I turned 50 this year and I realized that I’m basically invisible. It started last year. I was always someone who got hit on all the time. That NEVER happens anymore. Know why? Because I’m invisible. Not SO invisible that I can rob a bank or anything, but invisible enough that men don’t notice me.

I got a job as a lifeguard. I’m in a swimsuit. I’m in decent shape. I’m even surrounded by old men. Know how many hit on me? NONE.

In the last year, I’ve been hit on ONCE. It was a woman, (which is fine,) but she only hit on me after hitting on my 2 younger friends first. I was the last-ditch effort. How depressing!

Maybe Madonna is sick of being put out to pasture. Maybe she’d rather look like an alien than be invisible. Can we blame her?

As I stare an my now flat ass, I wonder if Madonna hasn’t completely hacked this thing. SO WHAT if she’s had plastic surgery? She’s dating younger men, too. So what? Good for her!

I’m tempted to run out and get ass implants, except that they cost a shitload of money. Also, does your body reject them like boob implants? That would suck. But, if we all had her money, wouldn’t most of us be getting chin lifts and ass-plants? Hell, if I had that kind of money, I’d get my makeup done every morning as I was getting my back rubbed!

Whatever. As an invisible woman, I think that Madonna should do whatever it takes to stay relevant and make herself happy. Alien or not, she’s figuring this shit out, and she is not ABOUT to be invisible.